Jason Flamm
Copywriter / Soft Skills Teacher

Blog

Not my best writing, but some of my most necessary.

Proud to Listen

There is a part of almost every conversation I have where I'm able to mentally step away from what's going on in front of me and assess the situation, seemingly, from a distance.

In fact, if I close my eyes, I can sense my body a great distance from them, when it's actually up close. It's as if I'm sitting in the corner of the room watching the two of us talk amongst ourselves.

I use these moments to assess how to further the conversation along and, eventually, get a resolution out of it. 

During that assessment, I'm able to check in on what's transpired so far. For example, I ask myself about the emotional state of the person I'm talking to? What's mine? What is their body language saying so far? Am I returning the same body language? Do we both understand what each other are saying, beneath the words? Does a change need to occur? Should I stop talking and just listen more?

Most often, I find, that last one tends to be most true; I should stop talking and just listen. After all, most people don't want to listen - they want to be the one that's heard.

My energy in those moments is focused on the other person, not really in myself. Well, sort of. My energy is spent in reading the other person so that I have a better understanding of how to react to whatever it is I learn.

It's a form of manipulation (which sounds bad). For if someone said, "You are being manipulated" it would never be interpreted as a positive. Yet, this is also what it takes for me to make sure that I'm hearing the other person and able to perform in the way they want me to. A way that benefits the both of us evenly. 

Otherwise, my nature would just do all of the talking and none of the listening. And while I would love to talk more, I know it's the higher calling to be the one lending an ear.

It's in these moments, I have pride.

 

 

 

jason flamm